Honesty Versus Marketing - the Conundrum

I have been in the corporate world and I have worked on my own. Two vastly different worlds with differing degrees of submission (some people would call it Being Committed) associated with them.

Currently, I am self-employed also known as sometimes-employed and sometimes-starving. I love it but I would like to return to school and in order to do that I need to be gainfully employed with a steady income. So back into the corporate world I go.

But this time I would like it to be on honest terms except, my terms, they are kind of harsh.

Like, no, I am not willing to forego friends, family and the ability to have a pet instead of plastic plants in order to devote my entire existence to your fiscal success.

No, I don't really want to take work home with me.

No, I don't want the pasty white hue of my skin due to lack of sunlight to be a direct result of my working hours. I prefer that it be derived from my time at my home computer.

No, I do not want to be the United Way Campaign Manager. Ever again.

No, I will not sing the company song, I will not wear your logo to every public event I attend and I will not force my family and friends to either (disclaimer: unless it is plastered on a very cool piece of apparel or I haven't had time to do the laundry...again).

See, I can't tell them this stuff. They'd never hire me.

Therein lies my conundrum. I am my own marketing challenge.

How do I let them know that I will do a good job but not necessarily carry a cross for the organization?

p.s. I have added some bona fide employees and their song. It really does happen.

Really? People Do This?

So now I am wondering whether I am really dedicated enough to my job search because I go on to Workopolis (you can find a link to their site at the bottom left portion of this page) to have a look around (just in case they were holding back on me in their e-mail alert) and find this:

I have to admit I am a bit befuddled. Why???? and what????

Apparently people are having cosmetic surgery to make themselves appear more attractive so that they will increase their chances of getting a job.

What if this became the norm? Job qualifications could then be expanded to such"skills" as:

"Must have acquired a DD cup or at least have such an enlargement in process"

"Only veneers need apply"

"Must be amenable to a flexible work schedule, some travel and adaptable facial features"

I don't get it.

I can't wait to see the results.

Nothing Today, Thanks!

Monday, bleh.

A migraine welcomes me right alongside daylight. Must.continue.my.search.

I get a bit excited when I see a fresh batch of jobs alerts from my various job board accounts. I keep thinking "This one, it's in this one" and then I open them up and...

Today there is nothing.

Ah well, maybe tomorrow.

I can't help but wonder though if maybe I am being too picky. Food and shelter versus job enjoyment, decisions, decisions. For now, I can still opt for enjoyment. For now, anyway.

Spread Your Net

So, I know that it is important to reach out, to network and to conduct your job search in as many ways as possible. This is a good plan. Makes all the sense in the world. And one particular head hunter made it quite easy for me by contacting ME.

I agree to meet. Get the suit on. Brush the hair. Avoid garlic. Mentally run through my career in short, concise, well spoken sound bites so that they are on the tip of my tongue and I don't fumble like a victim of early onset dementia. I AM READY.

Within minutes of greeting me, dressed like she was off to a knitting Bitch 'n Stitch, she informs me that she is leaving the company she is representing (this after I am forced to sit alone in a room for 30 minutes and re-write my resume, long hand, on an application form!!!PEEVE!) and proceeds to spend the next two hours discussing HER career options and the reason she is leaving not only this job but quite possibly every previous job she held.

I know when I left she felt quite satisfied about her prospects.

Me, not so much.

Don't Call Us, We'll Call You...or Maybe Not.

I completely understand the standard statement on all job postings that gently informs you that "Only those candidates selected for an interview will be contacted". I get that. Zillions of resumes. Too many to reject individually.

But when you pick up the phone and dial my number and speak to me, I think I should at that point cease to be just a bunch of electronic pixels to be saved or deleted at will and become a real person. A person to whom some basic courtesies should be afforded.

Is it now common to conduct telephone interviews and then never get back to the interviewee? Yes, I am talking to you Indigo! Bah, I shop at Amazon anyway.

Pet Peeve

I am all for the wonders of technology. Technology makes things faster and more streamlined and...UNLESS YOU IGNORE THOSE CONCEPTS IN FAVOUR OF NEEDLESS REPETITION.

I am incensed every time I go to a job board, to which I have subscribed and uploaded documents and cover letters and articulated the minutae of my working existence, and click "Apply here" and get redirected to a corporate website that demands that I...repeat the entire process.

I have so many accounts in so many places that trying to remember a password requires a fairly sturdy personal data server.

When History Becomes the Present

Looking for a job requires a level of self-promotion that I have not had to access in some time. In fact, it requires having a good memory about things I did decades ago.

I fail. I had to call my mom to find out which year I graduated in. No, her memory isn't any better than mine. She just kept possession of the bits of paper they issue when you graduate.

That reminds me, I need to add "Excellent Organization Skills" to my resume.